


Bauble

by L56895



Series: 31 Days of Christmas [1]
Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Prompt, Gen, Hogswatch, Humour, christmas prompt meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27813934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L56895/pseuds/L56895
Summary: Ridcully is troubled by the Alchemist Guild’s newest venture.
Series: 31 Days of Christmas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2032306
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Bauble

**Author's Note:**

> I found a really old Christmas prompt list I had saved and decided to have a go at it this year in no particular order. This prompt was ‘bauble’ and I had SO much fun trying to get the voices of two of my all time favourite characters right.
> 
> I’m hoping to do as many as possible (hence the optimistically named series title) but a combination of pandemic stress and my own ADHD may make that difficult!

Mustrum Ridcully, Archchancellor of Unseen University, Discworld’s premier wizarding school, looked up at something troubling. His own reflection, hideously distorted in some sort of purple dome, gazed back at him. He turned to the wizard next to him, who was watching him carefully.

“Stibbons,” he said slowly, “What is this?”

“It’s a bauble, Sir,” Ponder Stibbons replied in earnest, pushing his glasses up his nose and clearing his throat. Explaining anything to the Archchancellor had become somewhat his speciality over the years, although it often required rephrasing thoughts multiple times until the meaning was clear, and it had not escaped his notice that the rest of the faculty had found something far more important to do this morning.

“And why, pray tell, is it on our Hogswatch tree? Where are the glass ones? And what happened to the oranges and pine cones? In my day everything on the Hogswatch tree was edible.”

“The Alchemist’s Guild sent them as a sort of Hogswatch gift, Sir,” said Ponder smoothly, “Apparently they’ve developed some sort of new material that makes them stronger than glass.”

“Damn alchemists, inventing things that didn’t need to be invented. I don’t trust fellows who stick their noses in all these new fangled things.”

Ponder, whose role in the university could be summed up as one whose job it is to get involved with ‘new fangled things’, winced.

“Well, Sir, the Guild is arguing that this new material could change the face of city production-”

“Change it to what?”

“I’m sorry, Sir?” Ponder kept his tone polite, but he felt the familiar throb of a headache creeping towards his temples.

“Whose face are they changing, man? And what was wrong with his old one? Some sort of accident?”

“It’s a figure of speech, Sir,” Ponder sighed.

“Well, never mind all this,” Ridcully slapped Ponder on the back, sending him off balance, “I’ve been meaning to share my ideas about how to use this thinkin’ machine you fellows have got.”

Ponder watched him march down the corridor in the direction of the High Energy Magic building and wondered if, on reflection, a career as an alchemist- with its constant danger of small explosions- might have been a safer option.


End file.
